Mariella Frostrup and Meera Syal in a new stage show celebrating the power of midlife…

It’s the biggest pinch-me moment of my life. Next week, Cracking The Menopause, the show that I’ve co-written with brilliant broadcaster Mariella Frostrup, has its premiere at the London Hippodrome.

Starring Mariella, and the superb writer and comedian Meera Syal, I like to think that our show is a funny, informative, and ultimately optimistic night. A key theme is that the years after menopause can be the most successful, liberating and empowering.

I know that sounds horribly Pollyanna-ish. And frankly, it’s an overly cheery statement given that it’s early March. In Somerset the daffodils are peeking out, but the sun still needs to get its bum in gear. Had you said to me in my chaotic twenties, baby-filled thirties, and utterly awful forties, that aged 53 I’d be enjoying such happy and fulfilling years, I would not have believed you.

But the fact is that the perimenopause and menopause days might be the time to realise our ambitions, find our groove and enjoy the fruits of our labour.

I’m not just saying this because I have a show to sell. There are proven factors…

Why ambition often returns after menopause

The first is renewed ambition. This might be partly attributable to the fact that our oxytocin goes down. This is the love hormone – the one that’s produced post-giving birth and makes you believe that your baby is the most beautiful being in the world. It’s not to say that we weren’t all ambitious to start with, but there’s often more time for career focus, change or further studying. I know quite a few women who are doing PhDs in their fifties.

Along with this might come increased confidence. It staggers me that I have developed some sort of reverse body dysmorphia, where the older I get and the more society deems me past my attractive years, the more confidence I have in my looks. This is in spite of wrinkling, sagging, drooping etc.

I saw the most brilliant Instagram post the other day about older women and the invisibility myth, asking why we care. We are only invisible to a certain sort of person, who judges purely on youth and looks. I think we’re mostly a-ok with that. We are not invisible to our friends or our family. It’s incredibly refreshing to be less bothered about what ‘those’ others think.

To be honest, I’ve been the subject of many a vile aside in below the line newspaper comment sections, so I’ve not really minded too much for a long time.

The power of older women

We are richer in midlife! (Even if many of us haven’t actually noticed this). But women are economically very powerful, and especially older ones. We hold – quite literally – the purse strings. Women influence or control up to 80% of ALL – count ’em – consumer purchase decisions. Although of course there is still a ludicrous gender pay gap.

There are no more periods, which is a joy for most women. I do know that for those women who have not been able to have children this can be a time of deep grief. I don’t presume to speculate myself, but I’ve interviewed the brilliant Jody Day of Gateway Women about her experiences. For many of us, however, there is little to mourn in not having a monthly cycle anymore.

The menopausal years are also a time to look after ourselves, and make sure we have enough energy and optimal health with which to enjoy the coming years.

Health, energy and the strength of friendship

This does not mean entirely excluding wine and Kit-Kats, but it’s worth eating more fibre and protein and exercise, including a bit of strength training. Walking counts, by the way, and there are plenty of free online workouts available. Even just a bit of exercise is good for you, and it’s never too late to start. Boosting lifestyle is also likely to boost mood and alleviate menopause symptoms, and exercise is a great way to socialise.

Finally, there is family and friendship. Friends – and especially female friends, have very much got me through the last few years in the aftermath of my husband’s sudden death when I was 46. The sisterhood is there no matter what, both emotionally and practically, and good female friends are a bedrock of happiness and support.

Which brings me full circle, to writing a show with someone who has been one of those sources of support, both personally and professionally. Midlife, we reveal, really isn’t the quiet winding down we were promised. It’s standing together, turning up at the Hippodrome and discovering the real magic is the menopausal women.

Cracking the Menopause

16 March at the London Hippodrome
24 March in Bath
30 March in Bury St Edmunds.
fane.co.uk