Just like Mel B and Geri, married 52-year-old mother-of-two Sarah from Bristol spiced up her sex life by experimenting with some same-sex sizzle.
For her it was just a bit of fun, and for women it’s not uncommon practice – they are significantly more likely to ‘try it out’ or possibly even identify as bisexual. But for the lesbians who get toyed with by the women who are just experimenting it’s no laughing matter, as Londoner Esta, 57, will tell you.
When Mel B confessed that she’d slept with bandmate Geri Halliwell at the height of their fame I wasn’t surprised. After all, studies show a quarter of straight women indulge in a little girl-on-girl action at least once in their life.
But I was jealous, even though I have a husband and two children. Geri is just my type, petite with a huge personality – and reminds me of the woman I risked my marriage for.
It was just for one night, but it was incredible. Deborah and I had been friends for a while after I started a new job as a legal secretary. It wasn’t exactly thrilling – my male boss was a bully and the workload was enormous. The office atmosphere was very subdued but then Deborah, a paralegal, befriended me and we started going for lunches and nights out.
She was beautiful, with long red hair, younger than me, and very outgoing. She made me laugh and then, in the middle of a very boozy bar session, she told me she was a lesbian
She was beautiful, with long red hair, younger than me, and very outgoing. She made me laugh and then, in the middle of a very boozy bar session, she told me she was a lesbian. I think she expected me to be shocked. I was married, almost 50, and had two teenage children, but I didn’t care. Who she slept with was her business.
Except I did begin to see her in a different way. I wasn’t repulsed. Far from it – I began fantasising about Deborah. She was sexy, but it wasn’t just that. She represented excitement – an escape away from the humdrum everyday existence as a wife and a mother. I’d been doing that for decades. I yearned to be free in the same hedonistic way that Deborah was. No ties. No restraint. No guilt.
I began to flirt with her after a few drinks on nights out. I dressed up for her the way I’d once glammed up for my husband
So I began to flirt with her after a few drinks on nights out, dressing up for her the way I’d once glammed up for my husband. When I was near her, I felt my pulse throbbing in my temples, so when she kissed me in a nightclub one night I kissed her back, harder.
I’d even made an excuse hoping this would happen. ‘I’m going to crash at Deborah’s,’ I texted my husband. ‘I’ve had too many drinks with the girls. Will be back early tomorrow.’ He didn’t mind. ‘Have a great time,’ he wrote back. I hardly ever went out, so he was glad I’d found such a good friend.
Deborah smiled when I told what I’d done – and called a cab. The sex was the best I’ve ever had. The orgasms were stronger, longer and there were plenty of them. I’ve always struggled to come with my husband, and never before experienced anything like the intensity I did with Deborah.
It was so good I slept with her once more, but guilt began to prickle, and I realised it couldn’t carry on. I wasn’t a lesbian. I didn’t love her. It was just mind-blowing sex.
I never told my husband and I stayed friends with Deborah. She wanted to carry on, but I couldn’t leave my children or my husband for her, so what was the point?
We’re still friends now, but we don’t work together anymore. She left for a promotion so it’s just Facebook contact now and again. Like Mel B, I don’t regret my encounter with my friend, but it was just a one-off that finished as soon as it had begun. It was just a wild fantasy that I was in the position to make reality.
I‘m sick of straight women treating lesbians as playthings. Straight women think they can have it all: a conventional marriage, kids and a fantastic but secret sex life with a woman whenever they want it. They don’t see how hurtful their deceit is or how heart-breaking it is to treat us as playthings.
I end up being used by straight women who think dabbling is a thrilling sexual adventure with no strings attached
Being a lesbian doesn’t mean not having any feelings, but I’ve learnt to be tough otherwise I end up being used by straight women who think dabbling is a thrilling sexual adventure with no strings attached. I can’t tell you how many straight women have come onto me, especially when they’re drunk. I’ve had to be ‘chivalrous’ and get them in a cab home, but it’s been hard if they’re hot.
I’ve always been gay, but lots of women’s sexuality is fluid, and we’re targeted by straight women who want to experiment.
When I was younger I had my heart broken by a woman I fell in love with. I thought she felt the same way but then I came home from work early and found her in my bed with a man. Another time I even shared my girlfriend with a man, but she gave into convention to get married and have children.
I think Mel B was wrong to confess she’d slept with Geri. It was a private moment between friends that should have stayed secret
All my lovers have always said they have more orgasms with me than with men. But it still hurt when they left. I’ve now been in a relationship for 15 years and would never look at another woman.
I think Mel B was wrong to confess she’d slept with Geri. It was a private moment between friends that should have stayed secret. What happens on tour stays on tour, especially between women.
Girl Power: same-sex encounters are becoming more popular
- A study of 2,000 British women by Onepoll discovered a quarter of straight women say they’ve had a sexual encounter with a woman
- The percentage of women reporting same sex experiences has doubled since 1972
- A 2017 study by the Kinsey Institute in America discovered lesbians reported orgasming 86 percent of the time during sex as opposed to 65 percent for straight women
As told to Karen Pasquali Jones