Each week I’ll be asking someone what their corona-experience has been like, from their lockdown life to the new habits they’ve picked up. Kicking off the proceedings is the irrepressible Julie Burchill…

 

When did you first know this was going to be a big deal?

When we were all told to stay in – naughtily, I just saw it as a good reason to *swerve* going to That London.

What was the first concession you made to the pandemic?

Went out and bought a bunch of Ambrosia Creamed Rice pots and tinned pineapple rings – I love both but never have them in the house as I became a *gym bunny* at the end of last year.

Did you panic-shop and if so, what did you get?

Just the above – I’m not a panicky person. The only thing I’ve EVER panic-bought was a record called Hot Lips by a band called Pacific! I loved it so much that the thought of it disappearing from the internet bothered me so much I sourced TEN COPIES from all over the globe.

Who is in your house?

Just me – I had the choice to isolate with my husband in his *shabby chic* flat or in my gorgeous Art Deco apartment on the seafront – I left the *marital home* in October – and I’m very pleased I chose the latter.

Do you even get dressed any more?

I dress as I ever did – all in black, with leggings, but sexy ones with mesh panels. I always put on make up before I do my 8 A.M shop.

How are you stopping yourself going mad?

To be honest, I’m really enjoying it. I told you I was a psychopath!

What’s the naughtiest thing you’ve done in lockdown?

For once, NOTHING NAUGHTY – you know I’m a contrarian!

If you could be locked down with three people – alive or dead – who would they be?

Morrissey, John Lydon and Mika Tan – imagine the sex and the arguments!

What ‘normal’ thing do you miss the most?

My volunteer job at the MIND shop.

What have you done during lockdown that you’ll keep doing once it’s lifted?

WRITING MY BOOK! It’s called WELCOME TO THE WOKE TRIALS and needs to be done by October. I feared that my *sociability* and love of luncheon might get in the way, but there’s no excuse now.

Are you doing any volunteering?

I applied to the Red Cross and NHS immediately, but like a lot of other people am still waiting to be summoned.

What’s the first silly thing you’ll do the minute the restrictions are lifted?

Run into the street and kiss a homeless person; I hate having to keep my distance now when I give them money. I regularly used to get a thing my doctor amusingly called *tramp rash* from those lovely moments when you give them a big hug, overcome with love for mankind. And have too many G&Ts.

 

Julie Burchill’s book WELCOME TO THE WOKE TRIALS will be published by Little, Brown in 2021